Rough week

Second chemo just flew right in and I zombied right out... Wednesday getting chemo was brutal, then Thursday and the neulasta pain had really kicked in by Friday morning. Jonathan came in the day and took care of me, acted like a proper nurse and did the job better than I would've. Heidi came on Saturday and it was a bit of a blur, we talked all day and I postponed drinking and eating when I really cannot do that. By Sunday night I had a cold. Dr Tang asked me to come in, then gave me an IV of fluid, prescribed antibiotics, and took some blood to test. 

The blood test results were good!
My white blood cel count is 8.5 (normal range is 4.0-10.5)
My absolute neutraphil count is 5.236 (normal range is 1.5-8.0)

That's nice, takes a lot of the "am I dying from this bullshit?!" fear away. Gives me the space to just hate having a bad cold and feeling so beat up. I'm not taking decongestants because I don't want to give my body more junk to be dealing with (when it's already trying to deal with the antibiotics and chemo right now), so I'm a snotty mess. The nausea is dealable as long as I don't move much and keep eating, taking lots of anti-nausea meds too.

It's pretty tricky balancing all this. I'm only coherent enough today to sort of deal with typing all this and emailing some people to ask for support. The problem with being coherent is becoming aware of how bad I feel, and much worse I felt last week, and will again next. It's like having a regular appointment to get run over. It really feels that way. Going to have to go do something else now because typing this making my cry all loud and messy. Joe is out, so I can't get too confused and forget to eat so I'd better stop typing now anyway. 

This is how I'm living; moment to moment, trying to remember how and when to eat, drink, or take medication. Everything else is a luxury that I can't afford most of the time.