Getting back up...

Today I took a blood test (13 days since my first chemo transfusion, 12 days since my first neulasta injection) and my levels did improve enough to do the next chemo tomorrow.

My white blood cel count is 5.7 (normal range is 4.0-10.5 and a week ago it was 3.0)
My absolute neutraphil count is 3.289 (normal range is 1.5-8.0 and a week ago it was 1.35)

This is cheering me up on a couple of levels. Of course I wanted to get the next chemo out of the way and stay on course with my treatment schedule. But it also showed me that I can go through absolute hell, feel close to death even, and then 2 weeks later my body is able to recover and regrow cells until I almost feel normal. The fatigue is intense and constant, but the nausea and total lack of coordination or ability to speak has pretty much healed. Knowing that I can recover and heal (quite quickly) from such intense physical lows is pretty miraculous as far as I'm concerned. It gives me a lot more confidence that I will make it through this.

Funny thing, once I started to believe I was going to make it through cancer, I started to see all the ways in which (although terrible) it is forcing me to deal. Suddenly taking care of myself and staying healthy is my biggest concern and more unusually, doing so is giving me a lot of satisfaction and even joy! Simply being able to eat again or do a little work is tremendously joyful. It's an odd word to apply to mundane tasks, but I'm so appreciative of being able to simply live. It's a real gift and I'm holding this tight right now. It feels good to feel good again!